70 Best Sarcastic Quotes about Bad Fathers

There are many sarcastic quotes about bad fathers. Some of the quotes might make you laugh, while others might make you cringe. However, all of them are true and reflect the negative opinions that many people have about fathers.

Best Sarcastic Quotes about Bad Fathers

1. “My dad was a good man but an emotionally absent father, and so I had to look for that male attention somewhere else and found it in a brother-in-law. He just happened to be an alcoholic.” — Jim Hamilton

2. “Don’t anger your parents in order to please other people. Those other people did not spend their lives building yours.” — Unknown

3. “Children shouldn’t have to sacrifice so that they can have the life they want. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life that they deserve.” — Unknown

4. “Fathers, you are the head and strength of the family unit. If you are not in place, there is a weakness in the link.” — Anita R. Sneed-Carter

5. “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” — Rodney Dangerfield

6. “My dad asked me, “Son, have I been a good father?” I said, “Dad, you’re the best. Why do you ask?” He said, “I wanted to make sure the way you turned out is your fault.” — Stu Trivax

7. “A teen shouted at his Dad: It’s not your job to embarrass me. He replied, “I know.” Then smiled and said, “It’s one of the perks” — Unknown

8. “My father refused to spend money on me as a kid. One time I broke my arm playing football, and my father tried to get a free x-ray by taking me down to the airport and making me lie down with the luggage.” — Glenn Super

9. “Once my dad came to my band show and didn’t take any pictures. I asked him why and he said: ‘Nobody wants to remember this” — Unknown

10. “Last Thanksgiving I told my dad that families are supposed to be kind and loving. His response? “Eh, find another family.” — Unknown

11. “Nothing is weaker or useless than the man who hurts his children, wether by his actions or by his lies.” — Unknown

12. “Would you let your daughter date a man like you?” — Unknown

13. “Anyone can have a child and call themselves a parent. A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants.” — Unknown

14. “Selfish people lost so much in life because even when they realize they are wrong, they don’t know how to ask for forgiveness or show regrets.” — Unknown

15. “A father may turn his back on his child, but a mother’s love endures through all.” — Washington Irving

16. “Your children become who you are; so be who you want them to be.” — Unknown

17. “As a parent, you should be more concerned with your child’s happiness than your petty insecurities and jealousies. Just a thought!” — Unknown

18. “No matter how old you get. The hole in your heart created by your father’s absence still aches. Especially on father’s day.” — Unknown

19. “When I was eight years old, I was called into the principal’s office and my father was looking very solemn. And he said, ‘We gotta go, it’s Grandma.’ We got in the car and I said, ‘What’s wrong with Grandma?’ And he said, ‘Nothing, we’re going to the movies.’” — Sam Rockwell

20. “I phoned my dad to tell him I stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.” — Steven Pearl

21. “My dad always said, ‘You better go to church every Sunday. We need somebody into this family to go to heaven.” — Unknown

22. “A baby daddy’s favorite lie is, She don’t let me see my kid….No dude. YOU don’t let you see your kid.” — Unknown

23. “When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.” — Unknown

24. “You know, if fathers just did what they’re supposed to do, half of the junk that we face in the streets wouldn’t exist.” — Nathan Hayes

25. “Some kids are able to become independent without the presence of their father.” — Unknown

26. “I was 36 before I figured out most of my dad’s advice to me was just quotes from Burt Reynolds movies.” — Unknown

27. “My father in law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.” — Unknown

28. “It is time to step up and be a man. Call your children and tell them sorry for being a piece of shit. Then actually stay around and be a positive force in their life.” — Unknown

29. “Don’t take the title of a man if you simply can’t handle the responsibilities of being one.” — Unknown

30. “I wish they made father’s day cards for crappyy dad’s. We may be biologically related, but the only emotional attachment I have to you is anger. Happy father’s day! You shitty human being.” — Unknown

31. “Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” — Unknown

32. “Please don’t worry, I am doing fine. You’re much too busy to even find the time, so use your chemicals and take this to your grave, the boys you left are men you didn’t raise.” — Unknown

33. “It is much easier to become a father than to be one.” — Kent Nerburn

34. “Sorry that mommy has to teach you how to be a man. Daddy was more of a bitch than we initially thought.” — Unknown

35. “Respect to all moms doing double duty because of men failing to do their part as dad.” — John Mark Green

36. “At the zoo, with my dad, he turns to us and says, ‘Girls, I just stepped on a frog’ we rushed over and realized he had farted.” — Unknown

37. “She is a liberated woman, she doesn’t have to wear a bra”, my dad said about my 64-year-old mother.” — Unknown

38. “A daddy can make an excuse but a mother gotta figure out how to make ends meet regardless!!” — Unknown

39. “Dear Absent fathers: Never assume that the mother taught the child to hate you. A child can notice a father who doesn’t want to be involved in his child’s life. Stop this nonsense of always thinking that mothers poison their kids against you. Your absence is the biggest poison.” — Unknown

40. “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” — Unknown

41. “I wanted to write something in a voice that was unique to who I was. And I wanted something that was accessible to the person who works at Dunkin Donuts or who drives a bus, someone who comes home with their feet hurting like my father, someone who’s busy and has too many children, like my mother.” — Sandra Cisneros

42. “Just remember when you are ignoring them, you are teaching them to live without you.” — Unknown

43. “Your mother’s happiness is not your responsibility. It has never been.” — Unknown

44. “You inspire me to be nothing like you.” — Unknown

45. “Dad: I need to get into shape. Me: Dad, a round is a shape.” — Unknown

46. “My dad told me back then, “When you start a new job, don’t talk a lot. This way they won’t know how dumb you are.” I said, “Thanks, dad.” Guess he was right.” — Unknown

47. “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain

48. “My dad used to say, always fight fire with fire, which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade.” — Harry Hill

49. “I told my dad that my grades weren’t that good and he said was “better get the snorkel ready if you’re going below C level.” — Unknown

50. “A deadbeat dad tells everyone he loves & misses his kids but makes no effort to see them, doesn’t pay his way to better their lives & doesn’t put his kids on his priorities list. So next time you hear how much he loves & misses them…. inform him actions speak louder than words & to his kids his love seems like hate.” — Unknown

51. “If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher.”  — A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

52. “Real dads support their children without the law telling them they have to.” — Unknown

53. “Hey “dad” I did it without you.” — Unknown

54. “Only twenty two percent of fathers who don’t live in the same house as their children are “actively” involved.” — Unknown

55. “Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.” — Margaret Mead

56. “It’s not a child’s responsibility to reach out to their dads…. It’s a father’s job to reach out to their children.” — Unknown

57. “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” — Unknown

58. “My dad cracks me up. One time has asked, ‘You’re on twitter? What’s your hashtag?” — Unknown

59. “I overheard mom telling dad, “Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity. You are truly an inspiration.” — Unknown

60. “There’s nothing worse than a man that can be everything to everybody else…except a father to their own child.” — Unknown

61. “My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.” — Spike Milligan

62. “There should be an anti-father’s day. A bad dad’s day. That way I could truly say “you are the best.” — Unknown

63. “Having kids doesn’t make you a father. Raising them does.” — Unknown

64. “Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.” — Al Unser

65. “Lately all my friends are worried that they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried that I’m not.” — Unknown

66. “If a man cannot be a father to his own child, there is nothing worse than that.” — Unknown

67. “My dad was born a conjoined twin, but separated at birth. So I have an uncle, once removed.” — Unknown

68. “I love my dad, because even though he has Alzheimer’s, he remembers the important things. He can’t remember my name, but last week he told me exactly how much money I owe him.” — Thyra Lees-Smith

69. “Dad, thanks for being slightly embarrassing than all the other dads.” — Unknown

70. “I saw dad with mom last night. I think he was stealing my milk.” — Unknown





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