Psych is a USA Network television series that follows the life of Shawn Spencer, a young man with an eidetic memory who uses his skills to help the Santa Barbara Police Department solve crimes. The show is famous for its witty and often pop culture-laden dialogue, and many of the show’s best quotes come from Shawn’s wise-cracking father, Henry. Here are some of our favorite Psych quotes from over the show’s eight seasons.
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66 Best Psych Quotes
1. “How can you tell that someone’s a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren’t on fire.” —Shawn Spencer
2. “I can’t watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It’s like every newscast begins with a lie.” — Shawn Spencer
3. “Younger? Who do you think she’s meeting with, Justin Bieber?” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
4. “Shawn: I’m Shawn and this is my associate, M. C. Clap Your Handz.” — Shawn Spencer
5. “What isn’t clear is why people always say ‘goes without saying,’ yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn’t that bother you?” — Shawn Spencer
6. “Hello! I’m Shawn Spencer. This is my partner Radio Star. I’m afraid your video will kill him.” — Shawn Spencer
7. “Detective Lassiter, why are you wearing sunglasses at an autopsy? — Chief Vick
8. “I will eat you in manageable, bite-sized pieces.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
9. “Gus wants to know if your boat has cable. It’s the season finale of Leverage and his TiVo’s on the fritz.” — Shawn Spencer
10. “I look up to Brett Favre, but that doesn’t mean I believe everything he says. Alright, that’s a bad example. It’s those tearful press conferences, man. They get me every time.” — Shawn Spencer
11. “Oh, you mean my pilot’s license? That’s out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you’re referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I’d have to kill you, which I can’t do because my license to kill has been revoked.” — Shawn Spencer
12. “You’ve seen it all through the cracks in your fingers while you were hiding your eyes.” — Shawn Spencer
13. “The truth is, I want to change, I need to change.” — Shawn Spencer
14 “Get outta here. He’s got a Monkey Basketball League?” — Shawn Spencer
15. “Injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.” — Shawn Spencer
16. “I can’t help being a gorgeous fiend. It’s just the card I drew.” — Shawn Spencer
17. “It was just a small stream. It wasn’t like the end of Carrie or the beginning of Carrie.” — Shawn Spencer
18. “Just because you put syrup on something don’t make it pancakes.” — Shawn Spencer
19. “Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.” — Shawn Spencer
20. “That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon!” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
21. “Holy crap, are you checking your email?” — Shawn Spencer
22. “That’s interesting– just yesterday you told me you intend on having your wedding in space.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
23. “The chips say you’re a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!” — Shawn Spencer
24. “Don’t ever say that name, Shawn. Besides, I know it was you who started that.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
25. “I’m nobody’s pawn, Shawn. I’m a Queen.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
26. “I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.” — Shawn Spencer
27. “Take lots of pictures. Not of sights. Don’t take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments, because that’s what matters.” — Shawn Spencer
28. “Man, I’m nobody’s charity case. I demand I dig my own grave!” —Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
29. “Guster, you have to wake up to the real world: people have sex and kill each other. That’s the real world. Not some magical ‘feelings’ place.” — Carlton Lassiter
30. “He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA!” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
31. I don’t know if it’s this uniform, but I’ve never craved doughnuts before in my life.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
32. “How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?”— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
33. “Remember, Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a goddess, then a person again.” — Shawn Spencer
34. “Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman’s Ball?” —Shawn Spencer
35. “She’s obviously meeting a new boy toy. Maybe one even younger than the last.” — Lassiter
36. “I’m just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me… he might be a cricket.” — Shawn Spencer
37. “It’s a gift that I bust out on rare occasions and almost all the time.” — Shawn Spencer
38. “They tell me I got something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But, uh, the truth is this lustrous hair and dimpled chin are merely chapter one. I’m a veritable cornucopia of high-octane maladies, such as outrageous intelligence syndrome. And a little obsessive successful disorder.” — Shawn Spencer
39. “We take our hand-held entertainment very seriously.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
40. “Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? This whole thing started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules – you got to understand that. I didn’t have a choice. And then we sort of found a groove, and by the time you showed up, it was so much fun. I put away, like, over a hundred criminals. Most of them were murderers. I’m good at what I do. And what I do, it’s good, isn’t it?” — Shawn Spencer
41. “I can’t help it, Shawn, my body craves buttery goodness.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
42. “Which means it is both wise and delicious.” — Shawn Spencer
43. “I’m not big on nude handshakes.” — Carlton Lassiter
44. “Hang on Doogie. Where’d you get that juice box and does it come in grapalicious?” —Shawn Spencer
45. “I get productive when I’m nervous.” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
46. “Sorry, I was too busy James bonding it up in here.” — Shawn Spencer
47. “Chief, if I may. Lassie spoke to us all about a week ago about wearing sunglasses to all autopsies moving forward to show respect for the dead. I simply forgot. And Gus refused because he has no value for human life.” — Shawn Spencer
48. “Everyone stop whatever you’re doing and only pay attention to me.” — Shawn Spencer
49. “Man, I’m nobody’s charity case. I demand to dig my own grave!” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
50. “The spirits tell me your little pants are on fire.” — Shawn Spencer
51. “I can’t help being a gorgeous friend. It’s just the card I drew.” — Shawn Spencer
52. “Only what we learned from The Fast and The Furious. So… everything.” — Shawn Spencer
53. “Partners do not lie to each other, because partners put their lives in each other’s hands.” — Carlton Lassiter
54. “Come on, let’s hug it out. — Shawn Spencer
55. “Well, much like Lady Gaga, I was born this way.” — Shawn Spencer
56. “What do you two know about street racing anyway?” — Lassiter
57. “I’m just saying, technology is way overrated.” — Shawn Spencer
58. “I still smell like stinky nuts!” — Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
59. “We’re so far off the grid I think we may be back on the grid.” — Shawn Spencer
60. “How much blood was it exactly, Shawn? — Henry
61. “You’re acting like a child, Shawn. — Juliet
62. “Okay, you guys are actually devolving.” — Juliet O’Hara
63. “I’m having a clear vision on a cloudy day.” — Shawn Spencer
64. I would rather learn to play the harp.” — Carlton Lassiter
65. “I AM NOT ACTING!” — Shawn Spencer
66. “I’m the cream in a crying sandwich.” — Shawn Spencer
Source:
https://quotecatalog.com/quotes/tv/psych
https://www.quotes.net/movies/psych_105515
https://screenrant.com/psych-best-relatable-quotes/
https://www.pastemagazine.com/tv/psych/best-psych-quotes-shawn-spencer-gus-usa/
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